new.
Well at the end of the day, I still sit home alone
And refresh my Facebook and wait for someone to notice
And feel sorry for me
Because no boys want to kiss me
Because no girls want to kiss me
Because I’ve only been kissed by that mother fucking dike
Well, I’m done
Sitting here in the same stupid place on my couch
And waiting for something to happen
If nothing’s happened for the past seven months,
it’s because of me, and not because of you.
I’ll do something exciting, I’ll go into the city
And wear oxfords and jumpers and cardigans and lipstick
And speak in an accent and get people to notice
Because if I don’t like me, and no one else does
Then I must not be much to like.
So I’ll wear purple hand warmers and carry my uke
Slung low on my back with Harry Potter in hand
And sleepytime tea in the other
And I’ll smile at every stranger I see
And I’ll make someone’s day
Because if I can’t make my own,
then why not make someone else’s?
If I am a bore, and nobody talks to me, and I sit there quietly
Scrawling their faces into paper,
then no one will care, and what fun is that?
Sometimes the only fun part is having their pity eyes stare
But I sit on this couch, haven’t showered in days
Eyes closing at the screen, this fucking computer screen
That stares at me back because it’s as lonely as me
It’s waiting for someone to throw it against the wall
And be free
from the confines
of these robots inside it
of these robots inside me
that push pull push pull
Go through every motion and say every line
And never do anything that is in any way exciting
And I bore me
And I bored you
And I’m annoying and a prat and brat and a-
fuck you
fuck me
This is not the way it should be!
I’m sitting here doing nothing
When I could be doing anything
Anything else if I had the guts
I could spend tomorrow, fucking tomorrow
with my best friend instead of Rachel fucking Berry
Because I love these people
who aren’t even real
When real people
are waiting.
It’s electric twist, it’s a shock not a kiss.
I want to kiss someone again.
I want to wake up these dormant butterflies
They turned back into caterpillars and are crawling around
Bored and sore and sad just like me.
